Ecstasy makes me a better dancer.

Eating ants, insulting the unemployed, and loving you like crazy.

Just came home. “how drunk or high are you because I know you aren’t sober.” - my mom

that just because I’m not reblogging every zach galifianakis/RDJ due date promo video I find doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about it every single time. Think of it as a selfless gesture. I have only the best interest of your dash in mind.

Dear grad student guest lecturer, this isn’t 4chan. Don’t make me write “Bob Dylan totally owned the press” in my notes.