May 2010
May 31st
May 31st
13 notes
May 30th
6 notes
May 30th
28 notes
“I can turn into a bitch faster than your dick can get hard.”
– Britny Fucking Muehl
May 29th
Anonymous asked: Put my left toe in your armpit. HOW'S THAT FOR DIRTY!?
May 29th
“Wit is shit, funny is money.”
– Mel Brooks. And the reason so man deserving comedians go undiscovered.
May 29th
1 tag
May 29th
Talk dirty to me. →
May 29th
Eeeww
interwebhipsters: I just saw what Train actually looks like. They all look like they’re 70. I feel dirty for singing about a 70 year old man’s untrimmed chest. Insert barf. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
May 29th
2 notes
May 29th
May 29th
25 notes
Do you want to be taken to a dream world of magic? →
May 28th
3 notes
Ugh.
Dad: Guess Where I’m going tomorrow. Me: Where?  Dad: Mayday! Me: What?? Why?? Dad: Hangin’ with my buds. Me: Who’s even playing? Dad: Puddle of Mud. 
May 28th
2 notes
mumblebumbles asked: What is preventing you from being an actress in the moving pictures?
May 28th
Alright, tumblebeez, need halp
Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy when she is around him. Girl hates boy and wants to eat his face when she isn’t around him. Verdict? 
May 28th
4 notes
May 28th
1,168 notes
Things I care about more than Gary Coleman dying:
drinkyourjuice: literally anything
May 28th
43 notes
May 28th
68 notes
May 28th
May 28th
3 notes
May 27th
3 notes
2 tags
Comedy nerds are the worst kind of nerds because we don’t even have online communities allowing us to pretend like we have friends. The Jon Hamm episode of The Nerdist podcast is really speaking to me right now.
May 26th
“If you’re edged ‘cause I’m weazin’ all your grindage, just chill. ‘Cause if I...”
– pauly shore (via deannarooney) (via jonahray)
May 25th
15 notes
May 25th
147 notes
Describe your perfect lover to me. I'm feeling... →
May 25th
2 tags
May 25th
16 notes
1 tag
May 25th
1 note
WatchWatch
GREATEST EVER. Need to do.
May 25th
brb, gettin my cleveland city on.
May 25th
leahkorea asked: I feel like this would be an appropriate time to say Happy Birthday! I hope it's way fun. I mean, the weather is nice, so you've got that going for all your birthday activities!
May 25th
illkissyoubetweentheears asked: What was your best birthday and why?

Ps. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
May 25th
franciscotirado asked: HAPPY BIRTHDAY I LOVE YOUR NEW LAYOUT AND TITLE.

beautiful.
May 25th
May 25th
2 notes
May 25th
75 notes
May 24th
19 notes
May 24th
1 note
May 23rd
929 notes
May 23rd
3 notes
It's my birthday. Ask me a question! Celebrate! →
May 23rd
May 22nd
40 notes
May 22nd
4 notes
May 22nd
69 notes
May 21st
6 notes
I bought a book on a supposed quarterlife crisis
And I think all it’s doing is giving me one. I’m currently at a Best Western. Ugh. We started out at a Marriot. Then a Holiday Inn. Now a Best Western. Way to downgrade. To be fair, we are in Elkhart, and I think this is the best they have. Anyway, my parents are fake arguing in the other bed and it’s just too cute. 30 years together. Unbelievable. Yesterday was their...
May 21st
=/
Too exhausted for a legit post. In Detroit. Well, Dearborn. It appears to be Detroit’s Carmel, or Fishers at least.  Very emotional day. No GPOYW because I look haggard. HAGGARD I TELL YOU. Up early to do it all again tomorrow. I love my father. I love my mother, too, but I am mostly frustrated with her.  Goodnight, tumblebees.
May 20th
May 19th
May 19th
May 19th
3 notes
Day 4
A movie that makes you sad. Ugh I cry so easily, this one is tough. I don’t think I’ll write very much about this one because I will feel silly.  Ok now I really feel silly because I just googled sad movies because I can’t think of one. OH MY GOD WHAT AM I THINKING??? THE ANSWER IS OBVIOUSLY PHILADELPHIA! It combines my loves of Tom Hanks, topical (read: GAY) issues, and...
May 19th
1 note