Ecstasy makes me a better dancer.

When you accidentally unplug your headphones at work, do you let your coworkers think you are...

Fri, 17 May 2013 12:19:15 -0400

When you accidentally unplug your headphones at work, do you let your coworkers think you are actually listening to the beegees or do you try to explain what the fogelnest files is? And which is more embarrassing.

Photo

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:57:11 -0400

Clearly this has to be documented.

Mon, 13 May 2013 01:53:22 -0400

Clearly this has to be documented.

Spencer only drinks out of goblets.

Sun, 12 May 2013 23:33:22 -0400

Spencer only drinks out of goblets.

Presented without comment.

Sun, 12 May 2013 03:22:18 -0400

Presented without comment.

You’re beautiful.

Fri, 10 May 2013 07:54:01 -0400

You’re beautiful.

Help Chicagoans.

Fri, 10 May 2013 05:44:39 -0400

I’ll be in your fair city tonight and I need parking tips. The place we are staying offers $30 parking a day, are there any cheaper options in the Lincoln Park area? Thanks y’all.

I am building a garden because I am afraid of the...

Wed, 08 May 2013 19:32:33 -0400

I am building a garden because I am afraid of the government!

Also while I was outside I heard a mother yelling for her kids to come in because it was time to eat and I don’t know if I’ve ever been happier in my life.

Ouch.

Mon, 06 May 2013 20:36:36 -0400

Ouch.

Mems.

Sun, 05 May 2013 19:28:28 -0400

Mems.

If you can read this it is horrifying.

Sun, 05 May 2013 18:47:19 -0400

If you can read this it is horrifying.

Photo

Sun, 05 May 2013 15:45:43 -0400

"Do you have a tumblr blog?"

Sun, 05 May 2013 02:35:23 -0400

“Do you have a tumblr blog?”

- ANDY FUCKING KINDLER

Loooooool v happy about this.

Sun, 05 May 2013 02:28:42 -0400

Loooooool v happy about this.

Spencer got hit by a car again.

Fri, 03 May 2013 05:23:41 -0400

Spencer got hit by a car again.

Hey, best night.

Fri, 03 May 2013 01:19:44 -0400

Hey, best night.

abstraire: Tomás Saraceno - Poetic Cosmos Of The Breath

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 23:49:07 -0400

abstraire:

Tomás Saraceno - Poetic Cosmos Of The Breath

franciscotirado: Hey, so, like Gywneth Paltrow’s last cookbook,...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 01:31:15 -0400

franciscotirado:

Hey, so, like Gywneth Paltrow’s last cookbook, I was on the waiting list at Monroe County Library just so that I can check it out and make fun of it. I was #18 on the list, and turns out it was so, so, totally worth it.

Look at howbad her hair looks. Anyway, the “cookbook” yielded a questionable number of ”recipes,” many of which had very few ingredients, many of which were things I learned to make after school (elementary school) when my mom wasn’t home to make a snack. They were also super duper “healthy.” And yea, here at Soups & Roots & Rants, we love healthy food, but not so much to the point of counter-functionality. The things her “doctor” restricts her from eating, for example: “no coffee, no alcohol, no dairy, no eggs, no sugar, no shellfish, no deepwater fish, no potatoes, no tomatoes, no bell pepper, no eggplant, no corn, no wheat, no meat, no soy, nothing processed at all.” The fuck? No tomatoes? Like, what can you “eat” then? This is women who brought us the delight of the “Oyster Po-Boy” in her last cookbook (which, I would like point out, is not only really gross, but is an oxymoron, as oysters are super fucking expensive, and Po’Boy is short for “Poor Boy”)

Because of her inclination toward boring, healthy “foods” with very few “ingredients,” we got lots more wonderful things like this “recipe” for avocado on toast:

(via Sweet Potato Soup à la Goop)

omg lol yes

illbossanovawithya: President Obama at the 2013 White House...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 01:14:21 -0400

illbossanovawithya:

President Obama at the 2013 White House Correspondents’ Dinner

perfect president is perfect

This is me willingly being suckered in to the scheme, man.

Just murders me. Every time.

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 01:11:43 -0400

Just murders me. Every time.